Collector

I collect fear

I collect Fear
Nightmare-Images
Anxious Memories and
Unpleasant Recollections

I collect Regrets
Of hurting and neglecting People
Collect their Ghosts

I collect Persecutions
Condemnations
Broken Promises
And strained Emotions

I collect Fear
Of All This and much
More—

I collect Self-Dissolution
Guilt
Jealousy and Envy
Inferiority and distant Companionships

I collect low self-Esteem
Gray Weather and rainy Weather—all Kinds of bad Weather
I collect being ill-seen

I collect crossed-out Scrapbooks
Do not collect Reconciliations
Or—
Bandages

I collect the neglected
And—what’s been suffocated within Me
Collect Shadow Plays
Confusions, Recklessness, and negative
Attention

I collect Reward-Spirals
That take Me Here and There
And—Nowhere at All

I collect fleeting Resemblances
Of feeling entitled
To My Loneliness

I collect Escape Routes
Do not collect Substance or Love
Do not collect Kindness or Conscience

Instead—

I collect Curbstones and Crossroads
That lead Me further and further
Down—towards the Underground

And—

I collect Firewood for the eternal Blaze
That burns
In—My Consciousness

Cover art: The Metamorphosis of Narcissus by Salvador Dalí, 1937